Talk about flawed. Read the following verses from Numbers 14:26-30:
And the Lord spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying, 27 “How long shall sthis wicked congregation grumble against me? tI have heard the grumblings of the people of Israel, which they grumble against me. 28 Say to them, u‘As I live, declares the Lord, vwhat you have said in my hearing I will do to you: 29 wyour dead bodies shall fall in this wilderness, and xof all your number, listed in the census yfrom twenty years old and upward, who have grumbled against me, 30 not one shall come into the land where I zswore that I would make you dwell, aexcept Caleb the son of Jephunneh and Joshua the son of Nun.
What was your reaction to reading that? Sorrow? Sorrow for the rebellion of a people toward their gracious God?
Want to know mine? I was sad. I was sad that that generation was forgotten. It was erased off the face of the earth. Erased out of collective memory.
I was sad that no one’s name–except for Caleb and Joshua–was preserved in history. And that that fate was more than likely my fate.
The Man in the Sierra Leone Village
I am obsessed with obscurity. I fear falling out of earshot with the literary elite–both living and dead.
I fear if my name is not embedded for AT LEAST four hundred years in our anthologies that I will have failed.
As you can imagine, this has created massive and unnecessary grief in the mornings spent agonizing over my future. Stupid attempts at attention.
Strangely enough, I used to feel sorry for the anonymous of the world. The man in the small village in the hills of Sierra Leone.
I used to feel guilty for my fortune of growing up in a country where opportunities are abundant. Where fame is at arms reach. While they were damned to obscurity.
Then it dawned on me: if not for the grace of God, those forces are at work on everyone.
How I Have It Backwards
But that scheme is all wrong to begin with. I am elevating popularity in this life over popularity in the next life. On this note, the Bible is clear: popularity in this life equals obscurity in the next.
However, obscurity–anonymity–in this life equals popularity in the next. Every advantage I have over that man in Sierra Leone in this life amounts to a disadvantage in the next life.
He will be honored beyond anything I could have ever imagined. And that is the more precious prize.